Children have impulse control issues. Some more than others. So we put a large group of the them all together in one building, a school, and wonder why so many get in trouble. Well, that’s how they learn, by testing!
Children learn in different ways. Some learn by seeing, some by hearing, some by reading, some by doing. In every school there are a significant number of students who learn by doing. It is this doing that is sometimes, often times for some, outside the limits set by the school and have consequences. I’ll be honest with you, social media isn’t helping. For example, Tik Tok has suggestions challenging the students to perform destruction in their schools for fun. What is not explained is that their are consequences to property destruction. Lack of impulse control meet monetary and legal consequences!
When confronted and asked about the incident, the first response for most students is to lie. Not me! They all lie to get out of trouble. It’s natural. So parents, please do not stand in front of the teacher and/or principle and say my child does not lie. You will have to eat those words because all children lie. Do not defend your child, your job is not to fix it for them. Your job is to help the school to teach your child about actions and consequences. This is a teachable moment. This is how children learn, by making mistakes and suffering the consequences.
I had a wonderful colleague who explained it this way to the parents. The child’s guardian angel was watching over him. That is why he got caught. Better to get caught now, in a caring environment (the school) and learn about consequences, than to get caught later by a policeman where the consequences are much greater. So, please, do not say my child doesn’t lie. They all do! Let us do our job.
It is always better for the child when the school and parents work together!